9/11

Shortly after I turned off my computer before I went to bed, I realized that today is September 11th. It's always a surreal feeling, every year, realizing that. There are many things that can be said about that, many reasons that it feels that way - that it's still shocking, after eleven years, that the event even happened. That such evil and hatred and base violence could happen on our own soil; that it could happen by the hand of men; that man can be so wicked. That even though many of us didn't know the victims, and have never been to New York, we still somehow feel involved. That whole generations, including those who weren't yet born, have promised to "Never Forget". That our eyes still water and our stomachs feel sick when we see images of the burning buildings; of people jumping from windows hundreds of stories up.

People always talk about where they were when they heard what had happened that morning, or when they saw the story unfold on the news. My memory of that day is very different - I came downstairs to get breakfast, and found Mom on the phone in front of the TV, weeping. I don't remember what was showing on the TV - just how my mom looked as she watched. In a way I feel guilty about that; it's like every American can remember what they saw and how they felt as they watched the Towers burn and fall, but I have no memory of watching it myself. As hard as I try to remember, all I can see is that silent display of human grief and compassion that was taking place in my living room. And as much as I grieve and sympathize with the people who lost loved ones that day, that is the image that I'll never forget.

Nobody on campus has even mentioned 9/11 today. I came back from lunch just now, turned on my computer, and had a Facebook newsfeed full of pictures and Bible verses and more slogans about "remembering". I've spent the last 45 minutes looking at those posts, reading articles, looking at National Geographic websites and photos from that day. My heart is broken for this world. It's impossible to understand why such horrible things happen; I can't even understand the things themselves.

It's necessary for us to be able to go on with our lives - we can't just be paralyzed by fear. But on days like today, it's difficult to think about just "going on with our lives" when the images on our screens remind us, all over again, that we live in a terrifying, unsafe place. How do we cope with that? How do we move on? How do we live?

David had an answer to that. "In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for You, O Lord, make me dwell in safety."

Our hearts can still be broken; I don't think that's wrong. I don't think it's wrong, either, to acknowledge that there will be times when we'll be terrified of the things that happen in our world. But that terror shouldn't be the thing that we remember. The thing that we should promise "never to forget" is the fact that our imperishable souls are held and protected by an all-powerful, all-loving God. In Him, we dwell in safety.

Pray for the peace of those in grief today; pray to be given that peace yourself. Pray that God will put an end to violence and protect the innocent. And pray that we, as a nation, will become a people who never forgets what is True.